Giving You My Mind, One Piece at a Time

Tough Decisions

First off, I got the bad news yesterday that they are closing the Ash Flat mission indefinitely. The lack of “boys” makes what I’m going to write about today especially difficult as it has limited my options quite drastically.

Eventually, I’m going to kick this insomnia problem, but until then, I’m going to try not to stress about it. I’m making progress on other fronts, and that is all that matters.

On one hand, living a solitary life eliminates a lot of challenges, but brings to the forefront a whole host of other challenges that just don’t apply when you have any close family.

For example, end of life planning and arrangements for senior care. I’ve had to come to grips with the reality that I can no longer drive. I’m in the process of possibly selling my car, the question is no longer “if” but “when.”

I am also looking into getting either a home health aide or a handyman/personal assistant. I can cook, clean and care for myself, I just can’t run errands any longer without assistance.

Now, my errands are pretty minimal in truth. I need to stock my freezer 3-4 times a year. I need to go to the hairdresser 3-4 times per year (although I may just start shaving my head myself). I can also limit my recycling to 3-4 times a year. I’m still working on a trash disposal solution but can probably arrange for someone to haul away my trash once or twice a year (I generate far more recycling than I do trash).

In theory, I would only need houseguests 3-4 times a year to help me take care of these things, but that’s a huge burden to place on one’s friends. I just don’t think that people “get” how hard it is to “find good help” around here. I mean seriously, there are very few people who can seem to hold down a job around here for more than a week or two. And, of course, on top of that, we have my trust issues in general. The thought of relying on people I don’t know scares the bejeezus out of me.

Yes, I know I moved here to isolate myself. But I did not anticipate losing my ability to drive, nor the lack of infrastructure and services here. Seriously, a community full of seniors and no taxi service? It makes no sense whatsoever. Don’t get me wrong. I still love it here, and soon as I resolve some of these thorny issues I think my sleep will return to normal.

I’ve just got more stress than my body can handle right now. It makes me grumpier than normal too. LOL.

May you love the life you create for yourself. Namaste & ciao for now.

>